Handling Dashed Expectations

“Progress always heightens our expectations, and we willingly go along for the ride. But before we board that train, it’s helpful to remember that “unrealistic expectations are but premeditated resentments.” If we don’t settle the issue of expectations versus contentment at the onset, it will mean problems later.”

~ from  In Search of Balance: Keys to a Stable Life by Richard A. Swenson, MD

In what areas of your life are you experiencing progress, or at least change? Have you thought at all about what it has done to your expectations as Swenson suggests?


As my kids started off the school year, I had no idea that I'd been building up some expectations. They're in new grades. Our school has experienced a big turnover in administration. But I hadn't been thinking about what that meant. I'd been assuming school would go on as before. I had expectations that things would only change in positive ways.


Guess what? I'd been putting together a nice set of resentments. And as changes have rolled out over the past week, my expectations have turned into just that: resentments. I'm at the point now where I need to take those expectations off the shelf and examine them. I need to do battle with those resentments. Because I truly desire contentment. And I agree with Swenson - as long as I don't settle the issue of those expectations, there will be problems down the road.


And sometimes those expectations are simply expectations that things will stay the same, or change will work in our favor. How I handle my disappointment over little things like the fact that our school no longer allows food at celebrations and the kids aren't allowed to play on the grass at recess any more matters. I have a chance to choose contentment in the midst of these insignificant situations. And I have a chance to model that for my kids. Do I have the guts to do it?


How about you? Have you had any expectations that were disappointed lately? How aware are you of the expectations you have and there potential to derail your contentment? Do you agree or disagree with what Swenson says? Leave me I comment. I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Stringing Beads of Contentment

What does "contentment" look like?

On the first day of August, in blistering heat, contentment for me was relaxing beside a pool on a shaded lounge chair while my girls played nearby in the water. Ah, bliss!

Recently I also found contentment while sitting in a pop-up camper listening to the rain patter on the roof as I played a game of Bananagrams with my family.

And today, I'm content to sit alone in my office, scented candle burning, dog lazing nearby, as I type away at my computer.

You see, contentment can encompass so many different experiences and moments. Maybe contentment for you today is something entirely different from the examples I just mentioned.

Here's the thing: practicing the discipline of contentment means finding ways to string these moments together in a tighter and tighter strand until they seem one unbroken moment. Does contentment mean an idyllic life of continuous enjoyment? No. But it does mean learning to find that settledness in the midst of any and every circumstance.

How about you? What has contentedness looked like for you lately?