Finding Our Purpose in Life, Our "Inner Necessity"

“By slowly converting our loneliness into a deep solitude, we create that precious space where we can discover the voice telling us about our inner necessity- that is, our vocation.” 

Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life 

by Henri J. M. Nouwen

" What is the meaning of life?" "What am I here for?" "What do I offer the world that no one else can?"

I remember in college hearing other students ask these questions and wrestle to find the answers. And I asked those questions myself. In fact, the older I get, the more I ask the latter two questions. Why? Because I don't want to get to the end of my life and find I've missed out on being who I was meant to be.

Some people seem to settle into their place in the world rather quickly. They have a knack. They have a clear ability that leads them into a field of work in which they thrive. But, particularly in the world of today, many more people flounder. They move from job to job. They find good work, interesting work, but never quite feel fulfilled. They haven't found their calling. Or as Nouwen would say, they haven't found their "inner necessity".


So how do we create that "precious space"? How do we convert our loneliness into a deep solitude in a face-pace, information-laden culture?


It's not easy. But if the reward is finding that voice that reveals our "inner necessity", then isn't it worth it? Should we not slowly settle into a deep solitude where we can listen?


If you've created space for listening to that voice and have discovered your inner necessity, please share what you did and what it has meant to you.

The Benefits of Transition

It's a week of transition in my household as my three children return to school this week. We're enjoying the last  drops of summer laziness, even while filling a pitcher of preparedness for the new routine to come. And like every year, ever since I was a little girl, my heart has been going pitter-pat at the thought of a new school year. I've always approached back-to-school time with gleeful anticipation and with good reason: transition grows us. Here are some benefits I think we gain and which can boost our contentment as we go through transition of any kind:

1. Transition offers a new start with new opportunities. This is one of the things I've always liked best about fall and a new school year. The change in teachers and classmates seemed to offer up the chance for new relationships (or improved ones). And it meant the chance to learn new things. So how about you? As we head into fall and a new school year, even if you (or your children) aren't headed off to class, what new opportunities are presenting themselves? Is there a volunteer position you've been thinking about trying that starts up in fall? Will you be encountering new people during the course of your daily routine? Take the time to look at your routine with fresh eyes and search for the opportunities that might be there.
2. Transition creates a chance for careful consideration. At least I hope it does. It's common in American culture to think through life and make resolutions when we approach the New Year. But why not do the same during any transition and particularly prior to a new school year? Sure, it takes time to do this, but when you think of how streamlined your life can be when it's aligned to your priorities, it is well worth it. Can you find a two- to three-hour stretch of empty time (or even longer) where you can contemplate your dreams and purposes, and can evaluate your current activities and commitments against the grid of those dreams  and purposes? Do so, then resolve to make changes where activities don't fit.
3. Transition gives you an excuse to dump the bad stuff. Things are changing already, so why not take some control over that change yourself? In your time of contemplation, did you discover habits you've fallen into that sabotage your productivity? Make a vow to dump them and then change up the patterns that trigger those habits. I'm planning to chunk my activities during my work day in an effort to ditch the rabbit-trail mentality that leads me astray too often. But it doesn't just have to be habits. Anything that has been weighing you down, that you have the power to get away from, can be dumped as part of your transition - even unhealthy relationships.

Embrace the new season that's upon us. Look for other benefits that come from transition besides these. Purpose yourself to work within the transition toward a deeper level of contentment.